licking rocks

I have a fragile psyche.  By this I mean that my sense of self is ever changing, turning.  I had a dream when I was a child of about 11 that I was riding a dirt bike around an oval.  I was racing and jumping, around and around.  My parents were in the stands, but they weren't rooting or cheering.  They were asking me a series of rather odd questions.  What are you doing?  Why are you here?  As it turned out, I was sleepwalking and had wondered into my parents room.
The track is my psyche, my parents reality, and the bike is my ride through this mess.  On occasion, I wonder into reality and deconstruct.  I do not find this to be positive or negative.  Today, I had an eruption of reality.  Some of my self died today as every day and some new came to life.  It was just more painful than usual.  I took action and am moving on.  What else would I do with myself if I wasn't doing this all the time? 
Yea I used some of this earlier today.  If you heard it before, consider yourself lucky.  A comedian only practices his jokes to his most trusted friends.